Being granted the opportunity to come to Australia has been quite a surprise for me. Well, i thought i was probably the luckiest guy on earth. Somehow, things does not progress smoothly throughout the way.
Speaking of bad lucks, i guess it somehow started off with the scholarship. It was meant to be lucky to me, isn't it? Friends are telling me that how lucky i am to be able to further my studies overseas. Sometimes i wonder to myself, am i really that lucky?
Probably all these are not known to you guys, but these are the problems i faced so far...
- Application for UNSW admission. Somehow i was given two student IDs. Took me almost a month to resolve it.
- Somehow, my application for visa was not approved by the system. In the end, i have to call them up to approve it manually.
- Late approval of Confirmation of Enrollment (COE) by UNSW. Thank god i still managed to buy air ticket last minute despite the huge crowd flying over to Sydney to celebrate World Youth Day 08.
- Sick on the day before my flight.
- Cannot enrollment into subjects due to limited spaces.
- Six class clashes as i am almost the last to enrol and there are not much of a choice left.
- Not quite supporting teammate in projects.
- This is probably the best of all, hospitalised in Sydney during my first trip to Australia!
- The list goes on..
Sometimes, i couldn't help but to start wondering.. Have i actually made the right choice coming here? Am i really prepared to face all these challenges, physically and mentally. Are these problems actually karma from the past; those guilt and dark secret that have haunted me for years are now back to seek their revenge?
I have always dream of being successful, be it in my studies or my future. I want to excel in everything. But obstacles are popping out of nowhere, hindering me from achieving what i want. Someone mentioned that obstacles are there to test whether how determine are you to achieve what you want. Hmm.. how true is that? What if the obstacles are never ending? We are humans and sometimes we are tired of all these obstacles. The feeling of wanting to let go and not to give a damn anymore to our dreams are so tempting.
Probably this is what they call, expectation of life! My old friends, and most of my new friends commented that i have too much expectation of myself. It might seems so, but all i wish was to do my best. Perhaps my old friends are already used to my quote, " Have you done your best?" But i find that is my way of life. I always wanted to strive in what i am doing. Kiasu? Yea probably..
Well, the only explanation i can come out right now for myself is..
Everything happens for a reason. Someday, it might dawn upon me that all the challenges that i have faced made me who i am. At least i hope so. But this is something i must do for sure: I have to walk the path i have chosen.
"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson-
A promise to myself, i will definitely leave a trail behind...
And of course, achieving my dream : Success is always with me!
Am i able to do so?
Who knows..
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams" -Elanor Roosevelt-
Note: Phew, what a relieve.. It does help a lot after writing down all these.. Haha, lengthy post! Geez, my friend advice me to let go of my expectation.. but after weeks of trying, i still fail at doing so. Probably because this is who i am, the unique me LOL
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2 comments:
well nobody said it would be easy. if it's easy to get a degree, the whole world would be filled by degree holders
just hang on for the next three years or so. after that you can choose where you want to go. maybe you can do something as challenging as setting up a company, or something as easy as serving at McD's. your choice.
things happen. people get sick. teammates get lazy. governments dawdle. just hang on my friend, if you can't do it, neither can i. don't crush my confidence!
Hohoho...
if that is what you've experienced, you have neither taste heaven nor hell.
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